just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Say something about gay babies.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
