im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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