I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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