He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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