remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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