Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
