That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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