Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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