I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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