member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Sober January is a disaster.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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