We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
