we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
