Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
