Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
