Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
