Your face is a jimmy john
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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