Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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