Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
