Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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