Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We need to rekindle our bromance
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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