puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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