did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
