I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
