see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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