i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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