how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
