and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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