Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I don't want my vagina anymore.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
