you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
