Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
