sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
