the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
