He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
