Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
