I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
