i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
