We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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