He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
