Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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