Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
