All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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