and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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