At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
