you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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