i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
