K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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