After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
