I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
