is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize