dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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