i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
