first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
