dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
