I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Randomize
