you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize