u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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