Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
