Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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