I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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