it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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