It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
