i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
