just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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