so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
